My son has a stubborn streak. Actually, calling it a ‘streak’ is probably dramatically understating it. He has a planet-sized rock of stubbornness in him.

For some reason, our children do not like to eat anything that’s even vaguely healthy. I know, I know, most kids prefer junk to healthy food but this goes beyond a mere preference, they really don’t like fruit and vegetables, my son especially so.

I’d love to be able to be one of those parents who just doesn’t care, but I’m not and neither is my wife, so we’re on a mission to find fruits that my son will actually eat when we give them to him so that we can at least pretend like we’re giving him a healthy diet.

On Sunday, we gave him one small mandarin segment. Just one. All he had to do was put it in his mouth, chew and swallow. In fact, he probably didn’t even need to chew, it was so small, even for his little five-year-old mouth.

He flatly refused to eat it.

He’d been pretty good up to that point. He tried coconut, he tried a couple of other things but the mandarin orange he would not try.

“Fine,” we told him, “You don’t have to eat it now, but you’re not eating anything else until you eat that fruit.”

“Fine.” He replied, “I’ll just never eat anything again!”

This was at around 5pm on Sunday and we were pretty sure that he’d give in later that evening and eat the orange… but no, his rock of stubbornness planted itself securely between him and the fruit.

Bedtime came and that small piece of mandarin was still sitting safely on his plate.

The kid’s tough. I’ve never known him go the whole evening without eating SOMETHING.

Morning came way to early, as it tends to do at this time of year, yet he still would not eat that orange.

We took his breakfast (and the fruit) with us in the car as we took him to VBS… but he ignored it.

VBS ended and lunchtime came… and went, with that slice of mandarin blissfully unaware that it was at the center of a gargantuan tussle of wills.

The hunger gnawing at that little five year old stomach must have been becoming almost unbearable for him so we relented slightly and offered to exchange the mandarin orange for a different fruit.

Nectarines?

No.

Peaches?

No.

Grapes?

YES!

YES! Finally he was going to eat. He doesn’t like grapes but even though we told him the deal was five grapes or one slice of mandarin, the grapes won.

At least, they won until he realized they weren’t completely fresh and one look at the ever-so-slightly shriveled skin quickly changed his mind.

Three hours later, a trip to the store produced fresh grapes, five of which were almost inhaled by our stubborn little mule… quickly followed by almost every bit of food we had in the house.

22 hours he had held out. He had denied himself food for almost a full day and why?

Because he was sure he wouldn’t like the thing we were offering – which was healthy and good for him.

As I looked back on his strength of will… and foolishness, I began to wonder how often I do the same thing with God.

How often does God patiently wait for me, offering something that will surely be good for me, while I stubbornly refuse to accept it because I don’t think I’ll like it?

How long do I hold out for? How long have I been holding for?

Is there something right now that God is offering me, something he wants me to take which I’m avoiding, circling around, shying away from because.. what? I don’t trust him?

My son’s stubbornness has made me think:

Maybe I have my own mandarin orange segment.

How about you? Do you have your own mandarin orange segment that you won’t take from God

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Peter is quite possibly one of the kindest, most sincere people that I have come across.  The thing about Peter is that he always has time for me, or anyone for that matter.  I have come to truly appreciate the friendship that has developed over the last few months.  Peter owns a web-hosting business (NewBlogHosting), is a stay-at-home dad, is a missionary, a pastor in Hands and Feet and is still looking at what he is going to do with my life if he ever grows up.  You can also find him on twitter here or you can read his blog here.

Sometimes, life has a way of making us feel as if we have no one around that can comprehend,

But I Was Sleeping So Peacefully…

…so it was just the other night at 1:30 in the morning, right? My wife and I were softly sleeping; the dog was peacefully curled at our feet. I was gracefully dancing a waltz with Andy Stanley as John Maxwell sang “Tiptoe Through The Tulips“, then…

CRASH-THUMP-THUMP-THUMP!!!

Hearts were now pounding. Eyes were wide open. Dog instantly under the bed. Visions of intruders were dancing in our heads. “What was that?”, asked my wife. “I don’t know”, I replied. Slowly, I eased out of bed. My groggy, peaceful serenity had handed the baton to heightened alertness like a hot potato.  Thankful at least I hadn’t pee’d my pants, I mentally rehearsed what few karate moves I could remember from movies I had seen (you know, just in case I needed to impress my wife by wrestling a stranger to the ground Chuck Norris-style). For some reason, I checked the closets. First, my wife’s. Nothing. Then mine…

What I saw upon opening my closet was equal to the aftermath of a bomb explosion. Shelving, shoes, shirts, and slacks – all in a tangled mess. As I stood there, heart still pounding out of my chest, I managed a sigh of relief. Chuck Norris wasn’t needed tonight, thank goodness. But my relief was short lived. I slowly realized the unexpected chore of rebuilding the shelves and reorganizing my repertoire of clothing. Rebuilding and reorganizing. Tasks that I didn’t plan on, didn’t have time for, but were now necessary.

ONE MORE SWEATER

What had happened to me? I had gotten comfortable. The shelves could hold the weight of a few sweaters, how about one more? How about another? And another? Soon I didn’t even think about the weight I was asking the shelves to hold. Something had to give. What I thought was a neat, organized closet was actually a time bomb waiting to go off.

Ministry leaders face the tension to meet everyones’ needs all of the time. One single request for help, like one sweater, isn’t much weight. But add another request, and another, and anoth…  Soon we are carrying “the weight of the world on our shoulders” as they say. Then we hit the wall, suddenly. It’s a wake up call. We shilft from groggy, serene ministry to fearful, heightened alertness in an instant. Then we find ourselves in a life-rebuilding, life-reorganizing mode – something we hadn’t planned on, nor have time for, but is now necessary. I bet if I asked you the question, you would answer, “being all things to all people is wrong”. We don’t wake up in the morning planning to fail. It happens little by little. One request at a time.

Want to navigate around moral failure, pneumonia, nervous breakdowns, and good old fashioned burnout? Try this on for size: The next time you face a decision to carry someone’s burden, STOP! Ask God if it’s truly a request from Him or just one more sweater on your shelf.

Have you, or someone you know, ever had a “wake up call” like this? How did you, or the other person, recover from it?

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Scott Couchenour has become, what I consider a close friend.  He is constantly encouraging and offering prayer.  Scott Conchenour is a Certified Life Coach with a passion to help ministry professionals succeed.  He has founded Serving Strong, a benefit to those in ministry through resources, education, and coaching on life rhythm and self care.  He has over 20 years experience serving in ministry as a full time staffer, a bi-vocational staffer, and a volunteer.  He also has over 20 years experience in business as VP of Operations with Cogun, Inc., a company that partners with churches to develop and build the right ministry space.  He is a husband of over 25 years, father to 2 college-age kids, and member of the Christian Coaches Network and the International Coaches Federation.  Email Scott at coach@progressmax.com.  Visit the Serving Strong blog www.servingstrong.typepad.com and follow him on twitter here.

This is a picture of my Ethan (5).  I think that he loves baseball more than I do.  Recently, his interest in it has sky-rocketed and he always asking for me to go outside and pitch to him.  He doesn’t like playing catch, he likes to hit.  I have to be honest, this is one of my favorite things about being a dad.  Not the baseball part, but the part that he wants to spend time with me and he wants to play with me.

I think that sometimes we forget these sorts of things.  I know that everyone gets busy in life and everyone has things to do, but nothing can replace time missed.  I cherish each and everyone of these moments with Ethan because they turn into memories and look forward to many years more of them.

I’m leaving later today to go out of town and visit family for the next 10 days.  My in-laws live in Kansas and my parents live in Missouri.  We are going to do what I just wrote about, having moments and making memories.  It would be easy to say that I have too many things that need to get done or that I just don’t have time to go and visit, but that would be what I have done the majority of my adult life.  It’s time to slow down.  It’s time to enjoy the blessings that God has given us.  It’s time to have some moments that turn into memories.

There is no real lesson today.  I just want to encourage you to have some moments that turn into memories.

When I was growing up I was a little girl crazy.  Actually, that is probably an understatement, because I really like girls.  I was always trying to do my best to impress them with anything.  When I was 10-11 years old there was a girl that I really wanted to impress.  I was constantly trying to show off in front of her to get her attention.

A buddy of mine always had people over to his house to swim in his pool and jump on his trampoline that was only about five feet away from the pool.  Of course the girl I liked was there and I desperately wanted to impress her. So I walked around flexing my guns and sucking in my stomach, but that’s not what I wanted to tell you.  I had been swimming and she got out of the pool and was sitting next to the trampoline in a chair. I thought, “I can impress her by doing some amazingly-awesome stuff on the trampoline.”  So I ran from the pool, got on the trampoline, and started jumping.  I made sure I was getting high and attempted to do one of my front flips.  Evidently, I got too close to the edge when I flipped and I ended up landing on my face on the ground.  Everyone laughed and I was humiliated.

Job 40:11-12 says, “Unleash the fury of your wrath, look at all who are proud and bring them low ,look at all who are proud and humble them, crush the wicked where they stand.”

Sometimes God will let you fall face first onto to the ground if you are showing off on a trampoline. Maybe a better way of phrasing it would be:  God will humble you if your pride starts to swell up.  Pride can swell up if we start letting compliments go to our heads.  It can swell up when we think we have to impress someone.  It can swell up when we are trying to justify our selves.  Know this:  He will humble us and put us back in our place.  He will let us do things like get on a trampoline and humiliate ourselves, just to get our attention.

Have you ever had a situation where pride caused you to fall of a trampoline?

This is one of those transparent posts, so I’m just giving you fair warning.  I’m a jerk.

• In high school I used to make fun of people
• I used to think only of myself
• My interest in girls wasn’t for a good conversation
• I’ve been envious of other people’s successes and things
• I would lie if it made me look better
• I would lie if it made someone else look worse
• I was prideful
• I would get angry when things would not go my way
• I treated my parents like they were scum
• I treated my brother and sister worse than scum
• I once put gum in someone’s hair (when I was in high school)
• I’ve been addicted to tobacco (held in bondage)
• I taught myself how to manipulate situations & people
• I’ve hated people
• I’ve hated myself
• I am a jerk

Why would I possibly tell you any of this stuff?  The answer is simple:  I know that there is someone out there who has done one of these things or more and they feel inadequate.  They feel that there is no possible way that God could ever use them.  I want to share a verse that literally changed my life:

1 Timothy 1:15 says, “¹⁵ Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. ¹⁶ But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.

I deserve to be stoned or drawn and quartered for the things that I have done.  It is because of His love, mercy, and grace that I can do the things that I get to do.  If you are one who is wrestling with your past, know this:  God has a plan for you and He wants to use you to bring glory to His name.

Are you a jerk?

About 5 years ago, my mom had a tooth-ache.  She kept complaining that her tooth was hurting, but she would not do anything about it.  She would go take some aspirin, but if you mentioned the dentist she would look at you like you were crazy.  She refused to go.  One day, I got a phone call from my dad saying that mom and been admitted to the hospital and I needed to get there.  Her tooth had become abscess and they were afraid that she may not make it.  They did emergency surgery to remove the tooth and then put her on antibiotics.  After a week or so she was back to normal, but it was almost too late.

2 Timothy 2:19 says, “Nevertheless, God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and, “Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness.”

In our spiritual life we have occasionally have tooth aches.  We have the option to get them fixed (repent) or ignore the problem like my mom did.  The incredible thing is, is that no one can force anyone to go to the dentist.  We can choose to either go or not.  If we choose to ignore it, things may be okay for a while, but then it may become abscess.

If you have an achy tooth, please go see the dentist.

At the end of this week we are going on a family vacation or a family field trip as my son says.  We are going to Kansas to visit my in-laws and then we will meet up with my parents.  I haven’t been to Kansas in over six years.  I really miss my family.  It has been nearly a year since my sister-in-law, mother-in-law, and my wife’s grandmother came to visit.  It has been over year since I have seen my parents, brother, and sister.  It seems that lately that this what I have been mostly thinking about. (Family)  It’s tough to wait, because we would like to leave now, but it’s not time…yet.

Leviticus 26:4 says, ”I will send you rain in ITS SEASON and the ground will yield its crops and the trees their fruit.”

I am convinced that one of the most difficult things to do is to wait.  I’m not just referring to visiting family.  I am referring to waiting on the Lord.  We hear that phrase so many times that I believe that many have lost sensitivity to it.  I don’t know what you are waiting for.  Maybe you believe that God is leading you to reach out to someone. Maybe you believe that God is calling you to a ministry.  Maybe you believe God is leading you in a certain direction.  But…things haven’t happened quite like you imagined.  That does not mean that what God is leading or calling you to do is not real, it’s just not it’s season.  It’s just not it’s time.

If you are waiting on something that you believe is going to happen do not get discouraged, which is easy to do.  Be encouraged, because when it is time, God is going to bless it and bless you.  He will send the rain.  We just need to prepare our field to receive it.

Are you waiting for rain?

Sometimes we are too serious.

Update:  Rev. TJ Conwell won the book contest.

I’m not one for a lot of contests, but I believe I need to.  We recently launched a new ministry tool called Sermon Explosion.  To encourage pastors to submit some material I will be giving away Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently by John Maxwell.

How do you win?  Simple, submit content on Sermon Explosion.  Whoever submits the most content by Sunday at midnight (central time) will receive the book.

I am asking you guys to help promote this resource as much as you can.  Thank you again for all of your support.

Ready submit.